What does it mean to win?

I was a docile kid. My baby sister was 6 years younger than I so we didnt compete with each other at all. Our home was pretty isolated and I spent my days playing on our beach, climbing ccoconut trees and racing the dog to chase the bus when it went by.

When I moved to Idaho, I began experiencing competition for the first time in my life. Acaademically, socially, athletically and physically.

When I entered to compete for the job of Miss Idaho Teen USA, I was unprepared for the level of competition I would be faced with. Further, I was unprepared to find that deep within me, lay a fiercely competitive, and not always attractive hobbit just waiting to break free.

This past week, Miss Universe posted the photos of every girl competing for Miss Teen USA on July 24 in the Bahamas. The public may go online, register, confirm their registration and then rank their favorite contestants using a 5 Star Rating System. I started out well below the average. I watched as girls moved up and took first place. I winced as my photo dropped. I breathed a huge sigh of relief the day I saw my picture scoot up to 15th, then 10th, then 7th and then 5th. The next morning, I awoke to find I was in 1st! What a thrill! I was hearing from friends and fans from Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, S Korea, China, Denmark, Sweden, New Zealand, Australia, India, Lebanon, Israel, Ireland and Brazil!

It was a worldwind of ego-boosting energy.

It is important to remember that the online vote does not really mean anything. It has no bearing at all on who wins. It is however, a way for the public to see who is competing, to feel empowered and also, a way for girls like me, who do not come from states with big pageant budgets, or huge corporate sponsorships, to raise money for airfare, gown, appearance wardrobe and travel expenses.

Everybody loves a winner.

A week ago, I didnt even have the money to buy the shoes and other things I will need to compete. My family told me we just couldnt afford for them to fly all the way to Bahamas to watch me WIN, so I was planning to go alone and win it for them back here in Idaho.

When I filmed the B Girls, there were girls who already had 4 or 5 gowns and were shopping for more...many of which run $2000-$4000. apiece! ONe of them bragged that, "Ive never even been in a Walmart!" I thought, "HUH? I LIVE in Walmart!

I work two jobs and attend school. I come from a hard-working, middle class family, probably like yours, and fancy gowns are not something we would ever be able to blow $3000. bucks on! My family lives on the Main Street people like Senator McCain and President Obama love to talk about. Heck! We dont even have health insurance!

Since the photos went up, Ive been contacted by three corporate sponsors who have made it possible for me to get my wardrobe, jewelry and shoes.

My mom and sister will now be joining me in Bahamas, (Daddy has to stay home and pay bills!) and my gown has been partially sponsored by a fabulous designer.

Thats why I have gone online to FB, Twitter etc and asked people to stop voting me! We made our point! We made it possible for me to get a few sundresses to wear during compettion week, the requiree strappy shoes and other items I will need.

Now its time to let go and move on to the next phase of competition....and allow someone else to experience the fun of being Number 1!

Some of you have asked, "But wont that fe4el strange to drop and have the other girls thinking stuff like, "Good LUCK! Hahaha There she goes!"

No, it wont bother me. I wont allow it to bother me. I will concentrate on how the next Number 1 will feel and how proud HER mommie will be! I will move on and concentrate on my training here in Hawaii, with my awesome MMA trainer.

And I will focus every bit of energy I have on winning that crown, moving to New York City and being the best Miss Teen USA this country has ever seen!

In the end, its really NOT about who gets the most votes, or has the best photo. Its not about the best gown or most expensive daywear and shoes.

Its all boils down to what I taake away from this experience and what I leave behind.

I want to leave Bahamas knowing I walked in integrity, and the virtues I learned from Bill Bennet's, Book of Virtues, as a child. I want the other contestants to remember me as a genuine, kind and compassionate friend.

I plan to land the job of Miss Teen USA and represent girls worldwide with style, flair and character. I intend to use the opportunity to further my career in news brroadcasting and journalism, as well as raise awareness on issues and challenges confronting each one of us. I intend to get young people more involved in the political process, and encourage them to become more informed about the issues that determine our future as well as our present.

Am I competitive?

You betcha!

Do I want to win?

ABSOLUTELY.

But not at any price, and not at the expense of my integrity.

Just thought you guys should know this.

Thanks for your support. You are precious to me.

Now go out there and spread some encouragement around...slather it on THICK! Oh! And please, go online to www.missuniverse,com and vote for all the girls with scores below 2.0! :)

Love, Hoho